Family First — Week 1
Being Present Where It Matters Most
Summary
In the first week of Family First, Pastor Chris invites us to consider a simple but important question: Are the people who matter most getting the best of us, or only what is left of us?
It is easy to give our best energy to work, responsibilities, goals, and everything competing for our attention. Then we come home with very little left for the people we love most.
Throughout the message, Pastor Chris points us back to God’s design for marriage and family. In Ephesians 5, Paul describes relationships shaped by humility, sacrificial love, and mutual submission out of reverence for Jesus. This is not about control or one person becoming more important than another. It is about learning to put another person’s good ahead of our own.
That kind of love requires intentionality. Healthy relationships rarely happen by accident. We make room for them. We decide what matters before life gets busy. We learn how to respond before we find ourselves in the middle of conflict.
And ultimately, we cannot live this way through our own strength. We need the Holy Spirit to form us into people who love with patience, humility, sacrifice, and grace.
Intro Prayer
Jesus, thank You for bringing us together.
As we talk about our closest relationships, help us slow down and pay attention to what You want to show us. Give us the humility to be honest, the grace to listen well, and the courage to respond when You invite us to grow.
Holy Spirit, lead our conversation and help us become more like Jesus in the way we love the people You have placed in our lives.
Amen.
Ice Breaker
What is a family tradition or memory that still makes you smile? What makes it meaningful to you?
Key Verses
Ephesians 5:21
Ephesians 5:22–24
Ephesians 5:25–28
Ephesians 5:29–32
Ephesians 5:15–17
Questions
1. Pastor Chris shared about giving his best energy to work and having very little left when he got home. Where do you see that tension in your own life?
What tends to receive your best attention and energy right now?
2. Pastor Chris and his wife had to intentionally work out a rhythm that helped both of them feel cared for after a long day. What does healthy compromise look like in your closest relationships?
How can we learn to understand what another person needs instead of assuming they need the same things we do?
3. The message challenged us to consider the order of our priorities: Jesus first, then our marriage and family, followed by everything else. What makes that order difficult to live out?
Are there any good things in your life that can quietly become more important than the people God has entrusted to you?
4. Ephesians 5:21 says, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” What do you think mutual submission looks like in everyday life?
Where might Jesus be inviting you to lay down your own preference for the good of someone you love?
5. Paul describes marriage using the example of Jesus’ sacrificial love for the church. What does that tell us about the kind of love God desires for our relationships?
How is sacrificial love different from simply doing something nice for another person?
6. Pastor Chris identified three things that can make sacrificial love difficult: our own selfishness, the difficulty of another person, and the busyness of life. Which one tends to be the greatest challenge for you?
What usually happens in you when that pressure shows up?
7. One theme of the message was the importance of deciding our priorities before we reach a difficult moment. Where could a little more intentionality make a difference in your marriage, family, or closest relationships?
What is one decision you could make now that would help you respond differently later?
8. Pastor Chris reminded us that we cannot become the people God is calling us to be through willpower alone. What could it look like to invite the Holy Spirit into your relationships each day?
How might prayer change the way you listen, respond, forgive, or serve?
Life Application
This week, choose one relationship you want to be more intentional about.
If you are married, set aside 20–30 minutes with your spouse. If you are single, choose a family member or close friend you want to invest in more intentionally.
Ask each other:
“Where could we be more present and intentional in this relationship?”
Come ready to listen before explaining your own perspective.
Then choose one small, practical change you can make over the next two weeks. Keep it simple enough to follow through on.
Write it down. Pray about it together. Then check in with each other after two weeks and talk about what you noticed.
The goal is not perfection. Your next step is simply to become a little more intentional about loving the people God has placed in your life.
Key Takeaways
The people who matter most should not continually receive what is left after everything else gets our best.
Biblical love is not about control. It is shaped by humility, sacrifice, and a willingness to seek another person’s good.
Good things like work, success, comfort, and achievement can quietly compete with our most important relationships if we are not intentional.
Healthy relationships require us to decide what matters before life becomes busy or emotions become intense.
We cannot love like Jesus through human effort alone. We need the Holy Spirit to form the way we listen, serve, forgive, and love.
Ending Prayer
Jesus, thank You for the people You have placed in our lives.
Forgive us for the times we give our best energy to things that matter less and leave the people closest to us with whatever remains.
Teach us to love the way You love.
Give us wisdom to recognize what matters most, humility to put another person before ourselves, and courage to make changes where they are needed.
Holy Spirit, form our marriages, families, and relationships. Help us become people who listen well, forgive freely, serve willingly, and stay present with the people we love.
Show each of us the next step You are inviting us to take, and give us the grace to take it.
Amen.
