What Does It Mean to Wrestle With God in Prayer?
Prayer is more than a quiet moment with a to-do list for God. It is an invitation to know Him, hear His voice, and participate in His purposes. But what happens when God doesn't seem to be answering? What do we do when the circumstances of life feel like they are falling apart, even when we are trying to follow Him faithfully?
The prophet Habakkuk and a 19th-century missionary named Alan Gardner both faced that question. Their stories offer a powerful framework for what it looks like to wrestle honestly with God in prayer.
A Missionary Who Lost Everything But His Faith
On September 7, 1850, British naval officer and missionary Alan Gardner set sail from Liverpool, England, with six other men. His mission was to bring the gospel to the indigenous peoples of Tierra del Fuego, near the southern tip of South America.
Almost nothing went according to plan. Their boats were damaged. Essential supplies were left behind. Food ran out. The ship meant to bring provisions never arrived. By September of 1851, all seven men were dead. No church had been established. No visible fruit from their sacrifice could be seen.
Yet as Gardner lay dying, he continued writing in his journal. On September 2, he wrote: "Hope deferred, but not lost." After days without food, he wrote: "Marvelous loving kindness to me, a sinner."
His circumstances were devastating. His mission appeared to have failed. Yet Gardner could still speak of the loving kindness of God. He couldn't see the goodness of his circumstances, but he could still see the goodness of his God.
What Is the Real Tension We Face in Faith?
That is the tension every believer wrestles with at some point. What do we do when the God we trust doesn't seem to be doing what we hoped He would do?
This is not a sign of weak faith. It is actually a deeply biblical response to suffering. In fact, 40 percent of the Psalms are what are called imprecatory psalms, meaning they are honest complaints to God. Prayers like, "How long, O Lord, will my enemies prosper?" and "How long until you deliver your people?" make up nearly half of the entire book.
If honest wrestling with God fills 40 percent of the Psalms, it should have a significant place in our prayer lives too.
How Habakkuk Prayed With Honesty and Boldness
The book of Habakkuk is only three chapters. It is essentially a conversation between a prophet and God, and it begins with raw, unfiltered honesty.
"How long, O Lord, must I call for help? But you do not listen. Violence is everywhere. I cry, but you do not come to save. Must I forever see these evil deeds? Why must I watch all this misery? Wherever I look, I see destruction and violence. I am surrounded by people who love to argue and fight. The law has become paralyzed and there is no justice in the courts. The wicked far outnumber the righteous, so that justice has become perverted." - Habakkuk 1:2-4
Habakkuk is not pulling any punches. He is telling God exactly what he sees and exactly what He feels God is not doing about it. This is emotionally honest prayer, and it is the kind of prayer God can work with.
Is It Okay to Be Honest With God About Your Struggles?
Many people feel pressure to present a polished version of their faith, even to God. When someone asks how you are doing, the expected answer in many church settings is "God is good!" And while that is true, it is not always an honest reflection of what someone is carrying.
God does not want a performance. He wants a relationship. And real relationships require honesty. Habakkuk modeled this. Gardner modeled this. And the Psalms model this over and over again.
Telling God the truth about your pain, your frustration, and your confusion is not a lack of faith. It is actually an act of faith, because it means you still believe He is listening.
What Happens When God's Answer Is Not What You Expected?
God answered Habakkuk, but not in the way Habakkuk hoped. Rather than raising up righteous leaders within Israel, God told Habakkuk that the Babylonian empire, known for its brutality, would conquer the nation as an act of divine discipline. This would eventually bring Israel back into relationship with Him.
Habakkuk was not happy about this. He went back to God and reminded Him of His own character.
"But you are pure and cannot stand the sight of evil. Will you wink at their treachery? Should you be silent while the wicked swallow up people more righteous than they?" - Habakkuk 1:13
Then Habakkuk did something remarkable. He climbed up to his watchtower and waited.
"I will climb up to my watchtower and stand at my guardpost there. I will wait to see what the Lord says and how He will answer my complaint." - Habakkuk 2:1
How Do We Wait on God Without Losing Hope?
God's response to Habakkuk's waiting was clear.
"This vision is for a future time. It describes the end and will be fulfilled. If it seems slow in coming, wait patiently, for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed." - Habakkuk 2:3
Theologian Tim Keller offers a helpful framework for what it looks like to wait on the Lord well.
Wait Patiently: An Act of the Will
Waiting patiently means intentionally releasing the assumption that we know exactly how and when God should act. It is laying down what Keller calls "assumed omniscience," the belief that we have the best plan. True waiting requires surrendering our timeline to His.
Wait Perspectively: An Act of the Mind
Habakkuk climbed his watchtower to gain perspective. Getting higher allowed him to see more. In the same way, we are called to hold our present suffering in light of eternity.
"The suffering of this present time is not worthy to be compared to the glory that will be revealed in us." - Romans 8:18
Our suffering is measurable. Eternity is not. When we hold the two side by side, our present pain becomes smaller against the backdrop of what God has prepared.
Wait Christocentrically: An Act of the Heart
To wait Christocentrically means to keep Jesus at the center of the waiting. It means letting Him inform the next step rather than running ahead of Him. Paul quotes Habakkuk directly in Romans 1 when he writes that the one who has faith will be made righteous. Faith and waiting are deeply connected.
Where Habakkuk's Prayer Ended Up
After wrestling honestly with God, after reminding God of His character, after climbing the tower and waiting, Habakkuk landed in one of the most powerful declarations of trust in all of Scripture.
"Even though the fig trees have no blossoms and there are no grapes on the vines, even though the olive crop fails and the fields lie empty and barren, even though the flocks die in the fields and the cattle barns are empty, yet I will rejoice in the Lord. I will be joyful in the God of my salvation. The sovereign Lord is my strength. He makes me as sure-footed as a deer, able to tread upon the heights." - Habakkuk 3:17-19
This is not blind optimism. This is hard-won trust. Habakkuk arrived at joy not by avoiding the struggle, but by walking through it honestly with God.
Did Habakkuk and Gardner Actually Get What They Prayed For?
Habakkuk prayed that God would act against the violence and injustice in Israel. God said He would act, through the Babylonians. Habakkuk did not like the answer, but God did respond. The discipline that followed would eventually bring Israel back into relationship with Him. Habakkuk received exactly what he asked for. He just did not recognize it at first.
Gardner prayed that God would not allow the mission to die with Him and His companions. Within three years of his death, another missionary ship sailed to South America. It was named the Allen Gardner. His own son eventually joined the mission. The gospel took root among the very people Gardner had hoped to reach.
He died without seeing the fruit. But that was not the end of the story. A seed planted in the ground must die before a plant can grow. And when it grows, it multiplies far beyond the original seed.
Why Wrestling With God in Prayer Actually Matters
There is a restlessness built into the human soul. Augustine described it centuries ago. More recently, author Ronald Rolheiser, drawing from the ancient writer John of the Cross, put it this way: we are "fired into life with a madness that comes from God that leaves us incurably restless, seeking, longing, and insatiably drawn to a beauty, goodness, truth, and unity beyond ourselves."
That restlessness is not a problem to be solved. It is a signal pointing us toward God. And prayer is how we respond to that signal. When we wrestle honestly with God in prayer, we are not showing a lack of faith. We are exercising it.
Life Application
This week, try one simple practice: five minutes, one focus, seven days. Sit with God and tell Him honestly what you are thinking, feeling, and experiencing. No performance. No polished language. Just honesty. Follow the example of Habakkuk and Alan Gardner, and bring your real self before a God who can handle it.
As you do, ask yourself these questions:
Is there something I have been holding back from God because I am afraid of what honest prayer might reveal?
Am I waiting on God patiently, perspectively, and with Jesus at the center, or am I trying to hand Him my plan?
What would it look like to surrender not just my situation, but the outcome, to God this week?
Do I believe that God's faithfulness extends beyond what I can see in my lifetime?
Wrestling with God is not a detour from the life of faith. It is the path itself. And on the other side of honest, courageous prayer is the kind of trust that can say, even if the fig tree does not blossom, yet I will rejoice in the Lord.
