Every single day, something is shaping you.
The things you watch. The conversations you have. The people you spend time with. The voices you listen to. Even the habits that seem small are helping shape who you are becoming.
The question is not whether you are being formed. The question is what is forming you—and whether it is helping you become more like Jesus.
We Are Always Being Formed by Something
Most of us do not think much about what is influencing us. But our perspectives, priorities, habits, and responses do not appear overnight. They are formed over time by what we repeatedly give our attention to.
That means formation is happening whether we are paying attention to it or not.
So there is an important question worth asking: What is shaping the person I am becoming?
What Does the Bible Say About Who Shapes Us?
Jesus spoke about this in the Gospel of Luke:
"Students are not greater than their teacher, but the student who is fully trained will become like the teacher." - Luke 6:40
Jesus gives us a simple but important truth: over time, we become like the people we learn from.
That includes more than formal teachers. It can include our closest friends, the voices we listen to, the content we consume, and the people we allow to influence how we see the world.
Who we learn from matters because who we learn from helps shape who we become.
How Social Media and Technology Are Quietly Teaching You
Some of the loudest influences in our lives are also some of the easiest to overlook.
Every time we open an app, there are systems designed to learn what keeps our attention. They notice what we watch, what we click, and what keeps us scrolling, then show us more of it.
That does not mean technology or social media is automatically bad. But it does mean we should pay attention to the influence it has in our lives.
Because when something consistently has our attention, it also has an opportunity to shape us.
Understanding that can change the way we approach our everyday habits. Instead of simply asking, "Do I enjoy this?" we can also ask, "What is this producing in me?"
The Autoplay Problem: Living Life Without Intention
Autoplay can be helpful when you are watching a show. It is less helpful as a way of living.
When we allow an algorithm to continually decide what we see, let the loudest voices shape what we believe, or move through our days without considering what deserves our attention, we can begin living on spiritual autoplay.
We are still being formed. We just are not choosing what is doing the forming.
Following Jesus invites us into something different. We can become intentional about what receives our attention and allow Jesus to shape the way we think, live, and love.
The People Closest to You Are Forming You Too
Our formation does not only happen through a screen. It happens through relationships.
The people closest to us influence the way we think and live, often without us noticing. Someone else's courage can help us become more courageous. Their generosity can encourage generosity in us. Their cynicism can begin shaping the way we see people and situations.
And influence works both ways.
You are helping form the people around you too. The way you respond, the words you speak, the priorities you live out, and the way you follow Jesus all have an influence on the people who know you.
That is one reason relationships matter so much in following Jesus. We were never meant to become like Him alone. Presence Church values investing in personal relationships because following Jesus happens in the context of real people who know us, encourage us, and walk with us.
What Does Unhealthy Influence Look Like in Real Life?
Unhealthy influence is not always obvious. Often, it shows up in ordinary habits that slowly begin shaping us.
Here are a few ways that can happen:
Consuming anxious or upsetting content before bed and carrying that anxiety with you
Giving an online personality more influence over your worldview than Scripture
Becoming so focused on doing the right things that you neglect actually spending time with God
Following your curiosity down a stream of content that consistently leaves you stressed, angry, or unsettled
The point is not to become afraid of everything that might influence us. It is to become aware of what we are allowing to shape us.
Awareness gives us an opportunity to choose differently.
How to Be Intentional About What Forms You
Intentional formation begins with paying attention.
Notice what receives the first moments of your morning and the last moments of your evening. Pay attention to what happens inside you after you consume certain content. Consider which relationships are helping you follow Jesus and which influences consistently pull your attention somewhere else.
Then make room for the things that help form you toward Jesus.
That might look like:
Beginning your day with Scripture before reaching for your phone
Paying attention to how certain content affects your thoughts and emotions
Spending more time with people who encourage you to follow Jesus
Creating space for prayer instead of filling every quiet moment with content
The goal is not to remove every outside influence from your life. That is impossible.
The goal is to become intentional about who and what you are allowing to shape you.
Why Christian Community Matters for Spiritual Formation
One of the ways God forms us is through relationships with other people who are following Jesus.
There are things that happen in genuine friendship that a podcast, video, or social media feed cannot replace.
When someone knows you well enough to lovingly point out something you cannot see in yourself, that can be part of your formation. When you can be honest about where you are struggling and someone prays with you and walks alongside you, that can be part of your formation. When you spend time with people who are sincerely following Jesus, their faith can encourage yours.
This is why community is more than an optional addition to following Jesus. We believe our journey with Him is best experienced in a safe community where people care deeply for one another, wherever they may be in their spiritual journey.
God uses relationships to help us know Him, trust Him, and become more like Jesus.
Life Application
This week, take some time to notice what is forming you.
Look at your screen time. Think about the people who have the most influence in your life. Consider the voices you listen to most often. Then ask whether those influences are helping you become more like Jesus.
You do not need to change everything at once. Choose one intentional next step.
Maybe that means removing an app that consistently pulls you somewhere you do not want to go. Maybe it means spending a few minutes with Scripture before checking your phone. Maybe it means becoming part of a small group where you can build meaningful relationships. Or maybe it means reaching out to someone you trust and giving them permission to speak honestly into your life.
Ask yourself these questions as you reflect:
Who has the greatest influence in my life right now, and are they helping me become more like Jesus?
What does the way I use my phone and consume media reveal about the voices I am learning from?
Am I being intentional about what is shaping my beliefs and habits, or am I living on autoplay?
Who knows me well enough to encourage me, challenge me, and help me follow Jesus?
Jesus invites us into a life of transformation. Our role is not to control every influence or manufacture change in ourselves. It is to intentionally make room for His presence, His Word, and His people, trusting the Holy Spirit to continue His work in us.
So this week, choose one influence in your life and bring it before Jesus. Ask Him a simple question:
"Is this helping me become more like You?"
Then take your next step from there.
